Recently, I had the opportunity to interview author and coach Daniel Kemka on The Power to Pivot Podcast. We talked about his book Fullish at 40, in which he shares 40 lessons from his own life so that he can help others in their life, business and career. The book is truly a living example of what the power to pivot is all about - making the choice to move past the fear, the anger, the resentment, the shame, or whatever it is that we are facing, in order to look at life through a lens of possibility.
It's not about denying the truth of our situation. It's not about avoiding our feelings. Actually, it's quite the opposite. Living the power to pivot really entails having a raw, deep, and profound honesty with ourselves, in a way that helps us look at our situation, get really clear on how we feel and where those feelings started, and then, recognizing that if we turn our focus and face a different direction in life, things can start to change dramatically.
Sounds simple, right? It is. But it is definitely not easy.
As Daniel and I were talking, and as I was editing the interview, I got to thinking...
What is it about the age of 40 that freaks soo many of us out? Is it the number? Are we approaching 40 with a sense of looking back, resenting or feeling guilty for where we've been? Or, do we fear what's to come?
Maybe it's both...maybe there's more to it.
When I turned 40, I would be lying if I said I didn't have that sense of "oh crap" or that fear of "getting old." And I certainly sat in reflection over the previous 40 years, worrying about missed opportunities and beating myself up for all those times I didn't listen to my intuition and for all of those times I could remember when I knew I could and should have handled myself differently.
After some serious freaking out and a box of tissues later, I decided I could either continue down this path, or I could look at things another way.
So I chose to pivot.
I didn't have to look back with regret. I could find forgiveness, for myself and others, for things that happened. I could point out where I should have listened and trusted my intuition and recognize that I would act differently if put in that position again. I realized that, instead of looking backwards, I could turn around and realize that I got to decide how the next 40 years would play out.
That took me from a sense of sadness and guilt to feeling excited. What could I create? Who could and would I become? How would I show up differently in the world? Choosing to look at it through the lens of possibility, instead of the lens of the past, made all the difference. I realized that, previously, any time I tried to make changes in my life, those changes came from a place of sadness. While I knew I could and wanted to do more in life, everything was framed out of the situation I was in, instead of realizing that, when I got to where I wanted to be, I would no longer be in the same place. I wasn't letting myself get excited about that potential.
Once I made that shift, 40 didn't seem so bad anymore.
We'll see how 50 works out. lol :)
Have you turned 40 yet? What does "turning 40" mean to you?
Connect with Daniel Kemka!
Order Fullish at 40: https://selar.co/m/danielkemka
On the Power to Pivot Podcast, you will hear from authors, artists, creatives, entrepreneurs, and others who have made the choice to push fear aside, choose again, and create change in their own lives. At March Forth Media Company, we are on a mission to share conversations, resources and fresh ideas that lead to positive progress in the world, inspiring and empowering others on their own path to personal freedom.
Download a copy of This Is Where You Pivot: https://amzn.to/2BOwLK5
Stay connected with March Forth Media Company: www.thisiswhereyoupivot.com
Stay in touch with host Elizabeth Miles:
Are you ready? It is time to pivot!